En panikatti ilaya arasan.

What a laugh.

2007-07-07T21:52:34Z

This is getting seriously ridiculous.

I mean, I realise I don't have the most accurate self-image ever, but honestly.

The other day, my mother and I were having a bit of a walk. And we saw this boy that lives around the neighborhood getting into his car. And I swear on anything, I just nodded and smiled like I would to any person I'd rather not have to speak to. And he smiled back, or whatever, politely, and for some reason honked on the other way around, but I figure it was probably at his little sister or her friend that were on the other side of the road. And my mom said something that in English, would probably be roughly the equivalent of "He was totally checking you out." I mean, what the hell?! No. Just no. Not in this universe or any other. Okay, fine, I'm not going to insult my parents' genes and say I'm completely disgusting, but I'm nothing nice to look at. I mean, I'm so sick of my mother saying I've got a great figure and if I just dressed nicely people would do whatever they do when someone's attractive. But I won't be like that. I'll never be attractive. I don't have the looks, nor do I have the mindset for it. And then, we went for ice cream and I saw this boy I nearly almost liked, before I realised I was weird and couldn't. And after being completely weirded out by the fact that, despite the fact that I met him before reading the Harry Potter books, he looked positively Snapish. And while I think I've always had a weird sort of affection for Snape, it was really seriously weird. I mean, before that, even? He had a Snape nose! It was a very wtf-wtf-wtf-wtf moment. It's the wrong attitude completely though. He's too nice. And I remember him having a rather boyish, roguish grin. *sigh* It was nice, thinking I was heterosexual. I always knew I was weird.

And then, to top it all off, I got some sort of ridiculously absurd Teen Pageant letter of some sort. I snorted at it, rather skeptically if I might add, and I made some offhand comment about them only saying I was eligible because of my age, and wouldn't they like to have a picture of me so they could promptly throw me out for looking absolutely droll. And my mother went on and on about how I'm pretty. I was almost sick all over myself. How revolting. If anyone ever found me attractive, I'd tell them to have their head checked. In fact, if anyone ever showed anything even in compare to affection for me, of their own volition, I'd make them have their head checked.

Ugh.

WHAT?!

2007-05-05T04:54:26Z

"Comment and I will give you 3 interests on your list, and 3 icons, for you to explain in your journal."
From puddingfiend

Interests:
AIM
Haha, gosh, I'm always on AIM. It's a lot easier for me to talk online than in person. I'm so awkward, and I'm kind of terrible at speaking English, I always say the weirdest, fobbiest things sometimes. But then on the internet most of the time I catch it, or at least I can be embarassed without being seen about it. Also, I think it's a lot about courage, I'm not as afraid to speak my mind or tell someone something that makes me feel vulnerable. And then you can SHOUT without really SHOUTING, no? :D

Kota Yabu
Ah, Yabu-kun. He's pretty much the reason I got into jpop and JE. I was on YouTube looking for some other video, and some SC perf of Just Wanna Lovin' You came up halfway down the list. He looks like someone I know, so immediately I go, "Whoa, wtf?" and click. Yabucchiiiii at twellllllllllve, so adorable. Needless to say, they don't look alike anymore, Yabu-kun and his shaggy, shaggy hair. :D He has the most amusing laugh, too. XD

Tegan and Sara
Canadian twins, girl band. They're really good. A friend introduced them to me and I really liked them. A lot of their music is about loss and abandonment, and sometimes it'll speak to me. ~~THAT'S WHERE YOU GET THE KUSANOXYAMAPI PLOT BUNNIES, NO? They are sooo angsty.~~ They're really lifelike, in the sense that they're real and their voices don't sound done over. Plus guitarwork is <3.

Icons:

Ya-Ya-yah! Aren't they the best! They're so fun, really. I love this icon because Shoon has this smile like, "YES YES YES YES YES!!" and Yabu-kun's like, "Errrrrrrrr." For some reason, Taiyou always looks really awkward in a lot of their photos, and in this one he looks so cool compared to like, hmm. Hikaru. But then, Hikaru's so crazy! Hahaha. I can hardly make that hand gesture out. Looks like NwP Akira thing.

Hahaha. Oh boy. "Antihomodroidophobia": To be against the persecution of homosexual droids.
A friend and I had this ongoing theory that R2 and C-3PO had a relationship. Because C-3PO's always so naggy, worried mother. Apparently that's me, because I'm the naggy mother type...? Hahaha.

Ahhh, Koyato icon! OTP! They're my favourite pairing to write. I think I've done maybe ...three or four things that aren't Koyato.
I actually made this icon with Photoshop when I still had it. Hahaha. Trial version! So I'm rather proud of it. First real people icon I made for myself, also. And omg, is it just me, or does Shige look absolutely ravished.

XD I'm so rambly, no?
==

wtf is this, anyway.

2007-05-04T02:14:59Z

I'm thinking maybe at one point, this can be archives, no? =OOOO

Like anyone cares. Haha. I should start actually updating here so there's something here when people come. Not just like...nothing.

I...don't even know what anymore.

2006-06-08T02:56:36Z

I was originally going to use this as just a ...something...box...something for all the letters I write to ...him. But well, he doesn't love me anymore, and everyone says it isn't healthy to keep doing that, and isn't it pointless if you know there isn't a point in the future at which you could let him read them? When he loves you as much as you love him? Except all of a sudden, it's a big fat joke and he doesn't care at all for you. Ah, there's no point in going over it again, is there.

I suppose I can have this for those odd little drabbles I write sometimes, when my muse has nothing better to do than swat at my face and look adorable. Yeah, I'm weird and I have a definitely formed muse, with definite features and guess what. He's a he. Yeah, I'm even weirder. What do I do. Jeesh. Or those poems I write. When I'm being dumb. Or when I get those half-baked, ill-formed requests from people who I find hard to fit into poetry. They're more like drabbles. But they don't want a "me-centric" drabble. They want a poem.

JEESH. Everyone's a critic.

I think maybe I'll post something in here later tonight.
Just so everyone can get a feel of it. And when I say everyone, I mean no one. No one would bother with this anyway.

Le sigh.